will you teach a wretch to live
ask her ask when (ask and ask and ask again and)ask a brittle little person fiddling in the rain (did you kiss a girl with nipples like pink thimbles) ask him ask who (ask and ask and ask ago and)ask a simple crazy thing singing in the snowTuesday, April 05, 2005
The Manuscript of the Medusa
Sender: 09192818856 Time: 06:52:59 pm: Saturday, January 1, 2005: he holds me when i cry, makes me smile with just his eyes, wipes away all my tears, i love him without regret. i just haven't found him yet. ouch.
Saturday, January 29, 2005: ... And no, I am not in love with a guy. i wiil never marry not because i want to but because nobody wants to marry me anyway.I would like to be my old self again, the health freak one! matagal ko nang napabayaan ang aking kalusugan. di na ako natutulog, i dont eat on time, i don't have enough vitamins. i love sushi. i heve never been intoxicated or been trashed like hell before. i wouldn't want to get myself in that situation. Gusto ko ng boyfriend. Isang burges na tibak.talk about words. whew.okay. don't give me that smirk. this is two months ago. things change. and so do people.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005: Titigil lang ako kung sasabihin mong wala kang nararamdamang kahit kaunti para sa akin. That you can never love me. Gusto kong hanggang pagtulog isipin yung sinabi mo. I care for you, out of good heart and out of love.I hate this feeling. I can't help it. Selos talaga ako kay &^c*. It's too late for us now,mahal na kita. And I know you feel something for me. I won't be so presumptuous as to call that love but i'm hoping na pwedeng patungo yun doon. All I ask is give ourselves a chance na malaman kung hanggang saan makakarating ang mga damdaming yun.i'm overwhelmed! laki na ng emotional investment mo sa akin. i'm afraid di ko maibalik ng maayos ang return of investment.The masses and you are the reasons why even at the saddest point in my life, i learned to smile; even in confusion, i understand; even in doubt, i firm my stand; and even in pain, i still love
Monday, March 28, 2005:Ayoko ng feeling of vulnerability. When I felt attracted to him, parang nawalan ng silbi lahat ng aking defenses at natakot akong masaktan. Pero he showed me na di nga tama yun. Di nga tayo pwdeng magtago sa likod ng ating defenses all the time or else we will not experience love in its truest sense. I gave in to the emotion and put down my shield kahit alam kong i'm putting myself at risk na baka masaktan ako ng todo. Marahil masakit nga but im sure it will be worth it. At alam ko rin namang kahit papaano minahal niya ako. I'm sure kahit papaano makakaimpluwensiya rin ang aming pinagsamahan sa magiging buhay niya in the future. I'm sure kahit papaano may naipabaon din naman ako sa kanya na magagamit niya sa pagharap sa iba pang mga hamon sa buhay. SUBALIT, SA KABILA NG MGA GANITONG PAHAYAG, BAKIT AKO LULMULUHA?
If I have to let you go, I will. With love.
Thursday, March 31, 2005: DAmn, tal! I know lisud. But don't let go just now. Not now that you've gone this far.Grabe yung umpisa pa lang ng laban, retreat ka na. Di na tayo friends! helur!! Wag tayong ganyan. Mas nakakatakot di ba if nagmamahal ka tapos sobrang saya alang malungkot. kmsta un.Weigh things well. If you think you deserve each other, well, work it out!
Saturday, April 02, 2005: I feel so cheated. ansakit talaga. Do you have any idea how painful it is? You don't even realize it is hurting me! How insensitive of you. Masaya na ako sa setup eh. Why do you have to offfer me more than you can give and then take it back? Di na ako iiyak. Never again. Ubos na luha ko sa iyo, &^&%&h$%.Shet. I can't help it. I really feel like crying. You are so near and yet so far. MAhal kita. kahit di mo ako mahalin, tanggapin mo lang kung ano ako. Please respect my choices, my individuality. I am not asking for more than acceptance. Nanlilimos lang ako ng konting panahon at pagmamahal mula sa yo. Sapat na naman sa kin ang makasama ka lang at maging masaya ka. Ni minsan di ko hiningi na tumbasan mo ang damdamin ko. Please don't take away the honesty in us. It's all that we have.
It seems that I really lost you this time.Mukhang nawala ka ng di ko namamalayan. My fault? Maybe. Maybe not. Di naman ako bumitiw. Kusa ka lang nawala.. Nalingat ako, marahil. Nukhang malabo. Di ka na masaya e. This time I'm letting you go.
Tuesday, April 05, 2006:12:25pm:I am waiting for his call. Waiting for the words that I am about to write .. (Unforgetful by Jars of Clay in polytone.....)Hello? Ano ginagawa mo?Nagsusulat ako sa blog.What's a blog?An online journal. Read it. Lalaki ulo mo! eww!!pwde ko ba basahin yan?visit mo lang if ever, talfaith.blogdrive.com
tal, nagtext si vhanek..
*with special thanks to jonathan, wena, aika, and wendell.
amiel, thanks for coming over.
Saturday, January 29, 2005: ... And no, I am not in love with a guy. i wiil never marry not because i want to but because nobody wants to marry me anyway.I would like to be my old self again, the health freak one! matagal ko nang napabayaan ang aking kalusugan. di na ako natutulog, i dont eat on time, i don't have enough vitamins. i love sushi. i heve never been intoxicated or been trashed like hell before. i wouldn't want to get myself in that situation. Gusto ko ng boyfriend. Isang burges na tibak.talk about words. whew.okay. don't give me that smirk. this is two months ago. things change. and so do people.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005: Titigil lang ako kung sasabihin mong wala kang nararamdamang kahit kaunti para sa akin. That you can never love me. Gusto kong hanggang pagtulog isipin yung sinabi mo. I care for you, out of good heart and out of love.I hate this feeling. I can't help it. Selos talaga ako kay &^c*. It's too late for us now,mahal na kita. And I know you feel something for me. I won't be so presumptuous as to call that love but i'm hoping na pwedeng patungo yun doon. All I ask is give ourselves a chance na malaman kung hanggang saan makakarating ang mga damdaming yun.i'm overwhelmed! laki na ng emotional investment mo sa akin. i'm afraid di ko maibalik ng maayos ang return of investment.The masses and you are the reasons why even at the saddest point in my life, i learned to smile; even in confusion, i understand; even in doubt, i firm my stand; and even in pain, i still love
Monday, March 28, 2005:Ayoko ng feeling of vulnerability. When I felt attracted to him, parang nawalan ng silbi lahat ng aking defenses at natakot akong masaktan. Pero he showed me na di nga tama yun. Di nga tayo pwdeng magtago sa likod ng ating defenses all the time or else we will not experience love in its truest sense. I gave in to the emotion and put down my shield kahit alam kong i'm putting myself at risk na baka masaktan ako ng todo. Marahil masakit nga but im sure it will be worth it. At alam ko rin namang kahit papaano minahal niya ako. I'm sure kahit papaano makakaimpluwensiya rin ang aming pinagsamahan sa magiging buhay niya in the future. I'm sure kahit papaano may naipabaon din naman ako sa kanya na magagamit niya sa pagharap sa iba pang mga hamon sa buhay. SUBALIT, SA KABILA NG MGA GANITONG PAHAYAG, BAKIT AKO LULMULUHA?
If I have to let you go, I will. With love.
Thursday, March 31, 2005: DAmn, tal! I know lisud. But don't let go just now. Not now that you've gone this far.Grabe yung umpisa pa lang ng laban, retreat ka na. Di na tayo friends! helur!! Wag tayong ganyan. Mas nakakatakot di ba if nagmamahal ka tapos sobrang saya alang malungkot. kmsta un.Weigh things well. If you think you deserve each other, well, work it out!
Saturday, April 02, 2005: I feel so cheated. ansakit talaga. Do you have any idea how painful it is? You don't even realize it is hurting me! How insensitive of you. Masaya na ako sa setup eh. Why do you have to offfer me more than you can give and then take it back? Di na ako iiyak. Never again. Ubos na luha ko sa iyo, &^&%&h$%.Shet. I can't help it. I really feel like crying. You are so near and yet so far. MAhal kita. kahit di mo ako mahalin, tanggapin mo lang kung ano ako. Please respect my choices, my individuality. I am not asking for more than acceptance. Nanlilimos lang ako ng konting panahon at pagmamahal mula sa yo. Sapat na naman sa kin ang makasama ka lang at maging masaya ka. Ni minsan di ko hiningi na tumbasan mo ang damdamin ko. Please don't take away the honesty in us. It's all that we have.
It seems that I really lost you this time.Mukhang nawala ka ng di ko namamalayan. My fault? Maybe. Maybe not. Di naman ako bumitiw. Kusa ka lang nawala.. Nalingat ako, marahil. Nukhang malabo. Di ka na masaya e. This time I'm letting you go.
Tuesday, April 05, 2006:12:25pm:I am waiting for his call. Waiting for the words that I am about to write .. (Unforgetful by Jars of Clay in polytone.....)Hello? Ano ginagawa mo?Nagsusulat ako sa blog.What's a blog?An online journal. Read it. Lalaki ulo mo! eww!!pwde ko ba basahin yan?visit mo lang if ever, talfaith.blogdrive.com
tal, nagtext si vhanek..
*with special thanks to jonathan, wena, aika, and wendell.
amiel, thanks for coming over.
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